Today is 10 years since my sister passed away. I feel gratitude for having known her in this life, and that she still tries to reach me from wherever she's at these days. I don't pretend to know what her existence or experience is, but when she breaks through the grief and doubt, I'm always left feeling love, humor, astonishment, or all of the above.
A friend thoughtfully sent me flowers, without knowing what would appear in the bouquet. These colors "look" like my sister, if that makes sense. They're the rich colors of her bedroom when she was a teen and I just always associated that type of palette with her. They make me think of the tv series Friends, and my sibs and I are constantly baffled by how much Jennifer Aniston reminds us of her.
For some reason, pink roses also always make me think of her. I'm not sure why, but even when she was alive in this world I had that association, especially when I would see wild roses. Maybe it was something about her beauty and untamed spirit. I didn't think to include that in the symbols reference in my book, but this bouquet reminded me of that.
The prominence of carnations here is also not lost on me. For anyone who attended my book launch party this weekend, you'll probably know what I'm referring to. There is a story I read from my book The Secret Psychic where I shared about a repeated vision I kept having of carnations. I never used to like this flower, but since that persistent vision they hold so much significant meaning for me now. Amy was a part of that vision and the message was one of celebration and homecoming.
So when these lovely flowers arrived it was a bit like saying "hi" to her at the front door. Still a wild spirit, an absolute beauty.
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and in the flowers handed to me
i saw her, still
a wild spirit,
an absolute
beauty.
-Celebrating Amanda ♡
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